valentine's date paradox

no matter what you do, a girl can always find a way to be a raging bitch on valentine's day.

valentine's haiku

rachel and finn time,
a tony and twin sandwich,
and gobs of champagne

*pictured: us transfixed on glee
*not pictured: us stuffing our faces, max, and really talking over the entirety of glee

supper bowl

no idea what football is, but i know how to stuff my face like a champion!
*sorry for not leaving you any food, tony!

the debut

stef as waitress

first night on the job and my walk in was a walk out

dear lola,

you can kill our wed jazz nights, but you can't kill our wed booze nights!

the corrective cut

oh fuck. geriatric clientele and a glamor shot of my terrifying haircut on the wall...

the find

dear smartphone,
i wanted you to send me to a cute coffee shop, not a shady uninviting warehouse.
...oh. it's both!

stunt driving

a broken heater core is a lot like driving down the highway with a square inch of visibility that happens to be over on the passenger side.
oh wait. it's exactly like that.

frisky bums

the springlike weather is making the bums horny