home sweet home

ah! there's nothing like coming home to your kitties and all the dishes you left in the sink a week ago!

travelogue: 11.24.05 6:01am BWI

acceptable crack-o-dawn airport booze: bloody mary.
unacceptable crack-o-dawn airport booze: sam adams.

travelogue: 8.05 notes on tucson

the graffiti is funny

travelogue: 8.05 notes on tucson

if anyone's selling food in a roadside stand you'd better get some because it's going to kick ass.

travelogue: 8.05 notes on tucson

interesting business models in tucson.

travelogue: 8.05 notes on tucson

cacti forests are called "stands".
saguaros are really pretty when they're pretty, but most are poked with holes from woodpeckers or diseased or half dead and black and swiss cheesy.

travelogue: 8.05 notes on tucson

apparently one can never have too many tattoos.

travelogue: 8.05 notes on tucson

things i learned in tucson:

corn syrup on vegan pancakes. ooooh yeaaaah.

shload: (n) shit load.

travelogue: 8.05 notes on tucson

in tucson everyone is a "partner". boyfriend. girlfriend. lover. buddy. wife...
makes it easy to keep track because there are so many combinations to choose from.

last day of vacation

dear bossman,
i really miss work and really want you to (a) call me at 8:00am and (b) keep me on hold for 20 minutes

fuck da police!

since when does failure to come to a complete stop cost $217?!!!!!

travelogue: 8.19.05 2:45pm phoenix

local eatery richardsons has a long wait list so the hostess recommends the sister restaurant around the corner, says "follow me" and takes us through the kitchen, through a back alley, through a back door and another kitchen, then presents us with bar seats.
good news: it smells great! menu is great! and on the other side of the cramped bar is a wood-fired grill!
good show.

great moments in history

travelogue: 8.19.05 gila bend

(local newspaper was actually just a flier listing the elementary school lunch menus for the week. no, really.)

travelogue: 8.19.05 some podunk town in AZ

never before seen
...but we kept watching for someone to park

travelogue: 8.18.05 somewhere on I-8 E

never before seen: precariously stacked boulder mountains.

travelogue: 8.18.05 yuma

never before seen: roadside coin-op hoses

travelogue: 8.18.05 yuma

found a place called "burgers & beer".
tvs all over. it's supposed to be so you can watch sports, but we found a jackie chan movie. jen had a burger with anaheims and jack. mine was...something hot. chilies in the burger. chilies on the burger. apparently had bacon and cheese too, but my mouth was too burny to notice. fortunately burgers & beer had as many types of beer as burgers. we started with a bloody mary'd up miller lite. hmmm....no. passed up the lithuanian, syrian, and other exotics for an arrogant bastard. bad decision, though, cause now i'm so stuffed i can't do anything but go back to the motel to watch the travel channel.
...jeni warns i'll have a whole page to write about my burger in the morning.

travelogue: 8.18.05 2:45pm ocotillo

twins are officially lobster red.
jeni stops for sunscreen and gas station dude says "sunscreen????" like he had never heard of it.
in the desert? really?

travelogue: 8.18.05 El Rancho Grande in pine valley

best chimichanga in the world! (made a note to tell zagat.)
the chef was applauded.

travelogue: 8.18.05 pine valley

there's a little start of a road that looks like it's just there for people like us who pass through the town thinking there must be more to it, but then they get up the road and realize it's just a bunch of nothing with no place to turn around.

travelogue: 8.17.05 11:00pm san diego

i feel terrible. met a man down by the docks. ok, it was a male. a scraggly tabby. there was flirting. there was petting. then we leave to go back to the motel and we realize we were totally playing this guy. poor thing followed us all the way home. now he's wandering around the parking lot crying out for us. i pulled back the curtain and he was right there! good thing he didn't see me.
i washed my hands for a long time. i feel dirty. for touching him or for teasing him?

travelogue: 8.17.05 san diego

note in travelogue: a goat pooped on my shoe

travelogue: san diego zoo highlights

travelogue: 8.17.05 4:03pm San Diego

travelogue: 8.17.05 4:00pm San Diego

they serve beer here!!!

travelogue: 8.17.05 10:00am San Diego

that black jaguar has the biggest balls

travelogue: 8.16.05 6:30pm San Diego

mister tiki smells weird.

good ol alcky welcome

first night on vacation and i make friends with the old alcky club! that dude on the right is the famous ron baker (think charles durning) shakin his rack! he kept saying he has the best rack in the joint, but i couldn't afford it. he's right on both accounts.

checking out a strange city

i picture myself wandering into a bar, sitting down and staring off into space for a while, then leaving, wandering into the next bar, sitting down and staring off into space for a while...
until i'm drunk enough to start making friends with old toothless locals.
inevitable.

weird metro shit

probability that i miss my train is dramatically increased at ft totten due to raccoon raids

damn you and your 1-10 scale-o-pain!

avatar

Avatar is Cameron masturbating to his own god complex--creating rich new worlds to fill with trite story lines.

surprise birthday party

surprise! you're not going to that fancy restaurant after all!

deep tissue massage

something this painful should be covered by insurance.

massage therapy red flag #1

"this is not going to be comfortable"

remember when Au Bon Pain was actually good?

i don't.

status qwantz

who knew it was sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere?

blisstered

drunk white girl antics

only funny to drunk white girls

the quesadilla caper

dear top brass,
don't leave your food unattended.

olfactory hallucination

today i randomly smelled your cologne at work.

the birthday boot

parents take note: 1 hour minimum notice is required at all times. for serious.

chirosuckah

why can't you just fix me instead of snookering me into 3 months of visits?
i swear i could get the job done with a bottle of wine and a friend with a hammer.

ahhh traction bed

better than big girl bed!

damn you, ikea!

the gibson

was there ever a sexier question?

damn you, winter hands!

i want my fingernails back!

look what i* made!

big girl bed, like for realzies!









(*"i" means "my daddy"!)

holiday highlights

seasonal graffiti