men of stl, WTF?!!!!

some simple rules you're supposed to know by now:

a couple minutes of banter at a bar does not mean you can follow me into the girl's room for a quickie.

you may not rest your crotch on knees or any other body part as you make your introduction.

on a first date do not just leer and adjust your boner several times a minute.

 smothering a girl's face with spirit gum and smushing on fake stache with your meaty hands, while hilarious, is not a smooth move